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3rd January 2012

Post with 10 notes

Subway Defeat

  You know what I love?  When someone makes it through the subway doors JUST in time, sometimes so close that the door even has to re-open so as to not slice off a portion of the johnny-or-janey come-lately as it rockets off to the next incredible destination.  There’s just something sort of nice about seeing someone make it just under the wire and I think to myself “Good, I’m glad that person can get where they’re going on time.  Things DO work out in this crazy old work-a-day world."  Then I settle back in my seat, warmed by the glow of the camaraderie of man and go on reading whatever free newspaper I happened to get on my way on board.

  You know what else I love?  When someone ALMOST makes it to the subway doors on time, but then they just close, cold and impartial, and the person is left standing there, facing the window, as it shudders and then moves on without them.  The look on their face always betrays the same basic series of emotions:

  1. One of a confused need to bargain, as if to say “Wait, wait, it’s ME, you know me!  You’re seriously not going to open the doors?  I ride you, like, ever single day!”
  2. They move to exasperated frustration and and anger, they sometimes hit the door or swear silently from the other side of the glass.
  3. Then on to resignation and acceptance as they realize, eh, fuck it, the next train comes in, like 5 minutes. 

  These thoughts rip through the head of the chronologically deficient in seconds, and every single time it makes me laugh. 

  I guess what I’m trying to say is this; try to show up a few minutes before the train leaves or some jackass on board is going to laugh at you when you’re swearing at the door as it closely neatly near your nose.

Tagged: subwaycomedyshort

  1. thelesternormalhouse posted this